Gosh, i jus realised that... I haven been blogging for.. 1 year!!! The last entry was on this yr's resolution.. and now, i shd be thinking of next year's resolution!

How time flies~

Had been a busy month, lots of happenings, lots of excitement, lots of uncertainties, lots of frustrations, lots of laughter, lots of "lots of"...

Let me do a brief recap.. what have i done in year 2011?

For Elyzia, we have a couple of overseas gig this year... thou this time round, more were in JB ^_^

We went to Come on Rock @ JB in Jan, Spring Scream, Sound live house and Dong Hai University @ Taiwan in Apr, 狂月摇滚派对 @ JB in Sept, Launch of 青春狂想曲 @ Sutera Mall in Dec, and the upcoming Countdown Rock party @ JB again on 31st Dec!

Elyzia has also won the contest, our original - "Beyond" was selected to be the theme song of an education documentary "青春狂想曲"!



Here is an Acoustic version of "Beyond", Guitar played and arranged by Sam Ng from Redpoll:



This is the link to the preview of "青春狂想曲"
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150441212590746

This year, we had know alot of new friends too! Its a great gift to have so many nice friends around me, I appreciate all your company!

The distance to where i want to be, I guess may be getting nearer... Let's see if it will reach there one day~ There are still some stuff that i couldnt figure out, my brain has been thinking very hard, but still not able to derive any analysis. Anyhow, my empty brain will keep on functioning, until it has an answer, perhaps, that is the day of released, unleashed. Till then, I will still be the same, to stand on where I am... 平常心. I may not be doing the right thing all the time, so do you. Appreciate me for who I am, if you cant, then don't. I had learnt to appreciate myself more than before anyway.

Last but not least on this post, just want to convey this message to everyone.

We tend to neglect people who love us, care for us. We tend to be the most truthful to our love ones, our family and thus, we often show them our frustrations. I don't know why in life, there are alot more frustrations and love, and therefore, our love ones suffer more frustrations from us, than to receive more care and concern from us.

Everytime when we are not at the right mood, please spend 5 more seconds to think before we speak. Coz our frustrated words, may be very hurtful to our dear ones even though we don't meant it. If we love them, love them. We should treat and treasure them much more than anyone else, and not the other way round. They understand us, does not mean that they have to bear with us, and take our shit.

I love my mama, papa, and my 2 brothers. They had been taking my craps very often these few years, I felt very bad. I promise to spend this additional 5 sec before I speak whenever Im not in the right mood. I promise to spend more time with them. They are more important than anyone, anything else. Whichever comes, it will be after them.

Merry Christmas everyone~!

Cheers,
Rhea

Hmm, what's my resolution this year? Quite a number... But Caihua said, resolutions are not meant to be fulfilled.. lol~ but anyway, i just put it down 1st... at the end of the year, do a check again see how many of them are fulfilled~ LOL

Here it is:

Personal
1. To put the mental burden down, and move on.. (1/4 was done.. i had erased what supposed to be erased)
2. Do Lasik! Don wana wear contact lenses anymore... (anybody wana contribute to my Lasik funding?)
3. To... save up? at least have some savings in the bank..
4. Shake away the 8KG that i had gained in 2010!!!!!
5. To find back myself.
6. This is an every year's resolution... I want to go to Greece... not sure which of the year i can fulfil it, but, nvm, i just put it into every year's resolution until its fulfilled!

My Resolution in Elyzia
1. Churn out 20 originals at least
2. Setup workstation at home.. at least a small one with the necessary equipments
3. hmmm.... actually my resolutions here, are Elyzia's resolution.. so i stopped it here. The rest, for you to find out!

Cheers!

Rhea

Sometimes I feel lonely..
Sometimes I feel tired..
Sometimes I feel sad..
Sometimes I feel deprived..
Sometimes I feel proud..
Sometimes I feel capable..
Sometimes I feel useless..
Sometimes I feel sick..
Sometimes I feel shitty..
Sometimes I feel satisfied..
Sometimes I feel puzzled..
Sometimes I feel depressed..

Sometimes.. I feel that how nice.. if i can have someone to tok to...

Jus watched a drama, a lady said, "A woman would not mind to stay with a man whom she loves, even thou she knows that he does not love her. No matter how a man covers his own feeling with expression, actions, thoughts, he will not be able to cover his feeling from a kiss."

Haha.. eh, actually i also dono how the 2 sentences link, but i think, separate out the 2 sentences, they do make sense. lol..

Anyway, Merry Xmas to everyone! Time past~ Now its 2010, and entering to 2011 soon~! What have I done this 3 yrs? time really flies..

In our life, there's always memories, something that cannot be erased. Everyone has memories. U have, she has, he has. Its something that nobody can replace it with. But, alot of ppl are troubled by another's memories. troubled about something that cannot be erased, cannot be replaced. Y isit so? isit due to insecure feeling, as u thought u are not creating any memories? or, its jus a normal human being's sense of possession? haha~ i would guess, its a little of everything.

So, its a new year coming soon! Throw everything aside, and do what you should do!

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year!

Realized that i had been venting my frustrations.. esp to my close ones.. Felt very bad about it, tried to control, but, i guess when the frustration comes, it's just uncontrollable..

I wanted to say sorry, but, i know, sorry doesn't mean anything to you, coz, action always speaks louder. I vent frustration on myself, but, frustration is like the beam of light, and myself is the water surface. The light, will refract.. therefore, causing disturbing disruptions to ppl around.

I guess i am just like any other beings, when it comes to things that I couldnt accept, i blame it on every other thing else, and neglected the good intention towards myself.. That is the part where ppl says "Take for granted".

I dont really mean what i said, maybe i want attention? or maybe i just need some care? or i just wana hear something nice? or i am just being emo? i dono.. but, I am losing confidence in myself.. and maybe, that's the reason y i push the blames away..

This is my weakest link.. I remembered, when i was younger during school days, I was in the Air Rifle team, our girl's team is one of the strongest, we got the champion for northzone competition, and went into the national competition. I got myself a silver medal in individual shooter, Im proud of myself. But dono y, dono how, after that it hits my bottleneck, i couldnt excel myself, then i am doing lousier and lousier... from the main team, i was pushed to become the reserve, and, even out of the reserve team. That is not the 1st time such thing happened to me, i felt very phobia of this feeling. Eventually, to stop myself feeling this way, I stopped pursuing. Like ppl said, expectation higher, disappointment higher. So i stopped pursuing, hence, no disappointment.

I had such feeling again recently. The low self-esteem is waking up again. And i guess, that affects me alot. If i want to move on, i have to get rid of this... what i can say now.. to my love ones, friends, mates... please bear with me for now. I will be better. I know i will. And, I'm sorry.

I din know that i am stil not able to face the fact that i had known it long ago..as much as i had tried to deny it...

A fact is a fact, something that nobody can change. Be it a wrong choice, or a right one. Who would wish that they are the wrong one, but, like everybody says, facts are usually cruel.

The wrong, would usually envy the right, and the right, thank the wrong for showing them that they are right. The wrong suffer, and the right enjoy. But, who makes the wrong, and the right? who make the wrong felt that they are right, and eventually make them realise that they are the wrong?

If the right had always been the right, and the wrong, is always the wrong, i guess, there will be lesser sufferings in this sad world.

For me, I, had nv thought that you are the wrong, not then, not now, not ever. That's all.

amtf.amem.